From 40 Daily Thoughts Vol. 2

Day 10 Fornication, Cognitive Dissonance, and the Impact on Trust!

“Do you not know that fornicators shall not enter the Kingdom of Heaven?” 1 Cor. 6:9

The term fornication comes from the Greek word “porneia” which means illicit sexual intercourse. By illicit we mean “unlawful.” Fornication is the unlawful sexual act between two single people who are not married to one another. God created sex. However, it would appear that the Creator created it for married (a man to a woman) people only.  Cognitive Dissonance is a mental state of mind that an individual reaches once he/she has an imbalance between cognitions. Cognitions are defined as “attitudes, emotions, beliefs and values.”  Fornication (and adultery for that matter) causes a special type of dissonance. In addition to it being “spiritual incest,” the unintended consequences of Christians unlawfully sleeping with one another produces mistrust, confusion, and hurt feelings.  When God instructed Hosea to marry a woman who would be unfaithful to him, I am sure it caused a level of cognitive dissonance. Or it should have. God’s salient point to Hosea (and to us) was your relationship with me is indicative of your relationship with your wife.  Your wife cheating on you is the same as you cheating on me.

So my question to brothers is, have you ever wondered if your woman has ever been unfaithful to you? Or is being unfaithful to you right now? Sisters, can you really be sure your Boaz is not cheating on you currently? Has cheated on you in the past and you just don’t know about it? Or is he in the active process of cheating on you right now?  Well, it cuts both says. Not just between man and woman, but between mankind and God.  Let me try and explain this best I can.

This is the question we have to ask ourselves today. As Christians, when we fornicate is that a form of being unfaithful to God. Thus, it begs the question brothers, if a woman of God is willing to defy and disrespect her God in order to sleep with you, how much confidence should you really have in her that she will not cheating on you with another man? After all, if her love for Jesus or Jesus’ love for your woman wasn’t able to stop her from being unfaithful to Him, what makes you think her love for you will stop her from cheating on you? Think about it. Jesus has loved her, provided for her, saved her, healed her body, forgiven her countless times, taken care of her, provided for her children and her momma, was there for her in the middle of the night, made a way out of no way, and lay down His life on a cross for her. And after all of that, she still decided to cheat on him with you. Are you superior to Christ? If a woman has the spiritual gall to defy Christ, then I think she has telegraphed her spiritual and emotional capacity to be unfaithful to you. Sisters, the same holds true for you and your Boaz. If he is willing as a man of God to defy his God by sleeping with you, why in the name of Christ would you ever think he would not defy you? If God’s love for him was not strong enough, deep enough, or compelling enough to keep him for straying, why do you think yours can?  If he can sleep unlawfully with you in the sight of God then he can sleep with at least one other woman in the sight of that same God. The fact that we commit fornication has already indicated to God that trust has been compromised. How can we expect God to trust us?  How can we trust one another? The brother could be saying to himself, “if she doesn’t respect God, why does she believe that she is worthy of my respect?”

This man of God, your man of God, could reasonably ask how can I really trust a woman of God who blatantly and without hesitation disrespects God by sleeping with me? Hasn’t she already shown me the type of woman she is, and if I marry her, the type of wife she will be? Has she not already answered the moral character question when she went horizontal with me? It should cause a crisis of conscience if not a crisis of belief. Forcing the questions: Who am I really? Who is my lover really?  It is mentally conflicting to say the least. How can it not be?  This is the crisis of conscience Hosea faced and the crisis of faith we face even today.

If you are not considering marrying the person you are currently sleeping with then, I guess it doesn’t matter to anyone but God. But if you want to honor God, and honor your spouse to be, then maybe you should wait to consummate the relationship.  I believe fornication is a form of cheating on God. It doesn’t matter if it’s against God or man (or woman).  When we are cheated on, the first question out of your mouth to the violator of your love is “how could you do this to me.” “Don’t you know how much I love you?” “How can I trust this person with my heart ever again?” Well, isn’t God in the throne Room asking the same questions of us? When we cheat on him with “another lover,” doesn’t God have the same right to ask the same questions? We never seem to think how our actions hurt God. God feels just as betrayed as our Christian lover. “You who make you boast in the law, do you dishonor God through breaking the law. (Romans 2:23). “And the Lord was sorry he had made man on the earth, and He was grieved in his heart” (Genesis 6:6). The word grieved means “to cut off, detest, to be vex, pain, hurt.” God’s heart is impacted just like yours and mine.  Our behavior is not just about our feelings; it’s about God’s feelings as well. The real reason God hates sin so much is because He knows that sin has the capacity to hurt you. And because He loves you dearly, He doesn’t want to see you hurt. That’s how we are supposed to love each other.  Likewise, we shouldn’t want to do anything in the name of love that hurts God, hurts the other person, or hurt ourselves.  A cheatin heart is a selfish Heart. A cheatin heart has no regard for God. A cheatin heart is about lack; lack of character, lack of commitment, and lack of conscience.  This is dangerous grounds for Christians.  Someone always gets hurt, even if that someone is God.  And finally, we should consider how unlawful sex not only displeases God, but it could block the blessings of the person we are going horizontal with?  How do you know that God wasn’t just about to bless that person, advance that person, and do something supernatural in that person life or for that person’s children? But because you couldn’t keep your pants zipped (brothers) up or because you couldn’t keep your legs closed (sisters), now blessings of the one you claim to love are delayed, if not denied.  Yes, inheritance can be lost. Our ancestors taught us that we damage the world not only by what we do wrong, but also by what we fail to do right. My prayer is that we all do what is right; right by the God we worship; right by the person we say we love (or in love with) right by ourselves who we should be true to. Let’s eliminate our cheatin heart and turn it into a heart of obedience! After all, that’s how we shall inherit the kingdom of God. We should want that for ourselves and for the one we love.  What does your heart say right about now?

Love, Peace, & Blessings!